Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
