One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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