loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
