She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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