You smell like stripper and shame
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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