Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
