okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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