i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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