I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
