Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize