HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
