I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
