it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
