Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
