I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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