so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
