What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
