So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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