I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
