Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
