She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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