i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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