Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
