dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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