Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
