umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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