Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
