I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
