i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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