eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I love you. Go after that dick
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
