I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
