Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
