Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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