My brain says no but my pants say off.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
