dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
