Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sext me about skeletons
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
