I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
