Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
