We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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