At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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