Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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