Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize