But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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