i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
