Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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