I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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