Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
