But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Rumble strips road head = magical
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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