My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
