We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
