My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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