I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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