How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
