That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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