Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
