There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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