I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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