She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
